i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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