...so i touched it.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize