HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
