about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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