She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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