And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
