Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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