I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Randomize
