Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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