He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
where are you?
Hypothermia
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
