It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
