well most of my day revolves around power hour
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
