Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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