okay pat passed out under dana's car
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
