if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
