i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Everything about him screamed your future.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
He has the fingertips of a God
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