im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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