I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
