she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
