you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
