i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
3pm strippers are depressing
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
