Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
