My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Randomize
