i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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