I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
