smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
