There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
