Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
