I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize