Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
