I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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