so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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