seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Vodka?
Forever.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
