i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
