It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
My dick has a subreddit
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
