fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he was CRYING into my vagina
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
