Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
