Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
