Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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