if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
