I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
