i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
