apparently the secret to your success is patron
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
