Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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