none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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