Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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