so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
And my parents said I crawled through the house
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
