Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
