so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
