Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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