don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize