when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
