Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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