hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize