so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
