at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
