This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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