glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
