I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
