Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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