When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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