He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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