Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
