1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize