dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
