it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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