Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize