Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
