I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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