you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
i believe in u and ur pee
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
