i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
