i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Randomize
