who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
