I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
