If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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