Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize
