Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
