I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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