apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
