she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
