break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
