but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
